Don't judge- It's all about perception!

I find myself doing this so often. Heck, I recently went out of my way at my local grocery store to have a second and long look at an interesting outfit I saw on some unknown lady. I stare. But usually, I don’t get caught. If I did, I might keep my curiosity to myself, but I think I have mastered the art of staring.

Just yesterday, I went to the Green Mountain coffee shop on UNT’s main campus. I bought my favorite beverage, a caramel macchiato and moved away from the shop. The sitting area just next to it was lightly occupied. About seven students, mostly male were seated there. Some studying, others discussing with friends. I found a seat far away from everyone else and took out a book and pen. At first it looked like I was writing, then reading, but all I was doing was drawing circles in anticipation of the staring match I was about to begin.

Then I found my muse. She had interesting hair like I sometimes do. It was dyed green (I usually stick with red). I think I chose her because she had dared to look different from everyone else. And so I looked at her face, my pen in my mouth for a long time as she toyed with her phone. She did not look up for a while. I stared some more. And then the moment I dreaded happened. She lifted her head and caught me watching. My reflex action was to turn my face.

I felt ashamed. It made me feel like a voyeur to be caught. She didn’t say a word and I’m not sure that she could tell that I had been purposefully looking at her. But she had stared right back at me and I felt self-conscious. What if she was criticizing my voluminous hair? What if she thought I was poorly dressed? What if she thought I was judging her for her green hair and was calling me names in her head? What if she wrote on Facebook about this creepy/stalker-ish girl she just saw? All those questions ran through my mind and made me feel uncomfortable.

I didn’t stay too long at the coffee shop after that. I pretended to read for a few minutes not to seem too obvious, and then called my boyfriend as I packed my things and made my exit with my head facing down.

Note: For anyone who did not understand, this was a class assignment. Here are the instructions:

  Go to a coffee shop with a notebook, order some coffee and sit down. Find someone in the room to stare at for two minutes or until they look back. Write a one or more page response on how they reacted and how it made you feel to do this.